May your home always be too small to hold all of your friends. ~Author Unknown
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Home
So after months of spending hours on craigslist, emailing literally hundreds of people, looking a close to ten houses, and having a rental application rejected, we (Patty, Sarah, Shannon, and I) have found a house. I have included a few pictures and as we begin to move in and get settled I will share more. I thank you for all your prayers during this time. It was not easy, but we are excited about where and how God is leading each of us to minister in east Tennessee.
May your home always be too small to hold all of your friends. ~Author Unknown
May your home always be too small to hold all of your friends. ~Author Unknown
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Life As We Know It
Shannon and I watched Life as We Know It last night. Movie nights have become an important part of our friendship. It is time we intentionally spend together, but it also allows us to do other things as well as watch the movie such as homework, job hunting, or on nights like last apartment hunting and eating cake.
As we watched this movie the basic premise is that a married couple dies in a car accident leaving their infant daughter behind. The name their two best friends who are single and don't get along very well to raise this now orphaned little girl.
We joked about who we may marry and if we did who would be paired up to raise our children if something like this happenned. At points this was greatly entertaining. I always enjoy when you can see yourself in a movie. However, overall this movie highlighted what happens when things don't go as planned.
For me this was a reminder that God has a plan for my life. I am approaching graduation and God is revealing small portions of His plan for me. Yet He is not showing me all of the plan.
A few days ago a worship leader said how God could reveal His entire plan for our lives, but then we would not be walking by faith. I could not find this to be more true. If God told me the whole plan I would simply seek to reach it myself.
So as I take these steps forward in my life. I will trust that God has a plan. He has a plan in the big things as well as in the small things. I trust that God has a plan for the ministry He has called me to. He has a plan for the man of God He will place in my life. He has a plan in what I will do this day, this week, this month. I am thankful for a God who is present in the details yet has a plan bigger than I could even comprehend.
As we watched this movie the basic premise is that a married couple dies in a car accident leaving their infant daughter behind. The name their two best friends who are single and don't get along very well to raise this now orphaned little girl.
We joked about who we may marry and if we did who would be paired up to raise our children if something like this happenned. At points this was greatly entertaining. I always enjoy when you can see yourself in a movie. However, overall this movie highlighted what happens when things don't go as planned.
For me this was a reminder that God has a plan for my life. I am approaching graduation and God is revealing small portions of His plan for me. Yet He is not showing me all of the plan.
A few days ago a worship leader said how God could reveal His entire plan for our lives, but then we would not be walking by faith. I could not find this to be more true. If God told me the whole plan I would simply seek to reach it myself.
So as I take these steps forward in my life. I will trust that God has a plan. He has a plan in the big things as well as in the small things. I trust that God has a plan for the ministry He has called me to. He has a plan for the man of God He will place in my life. He has a plan in what I will do this day, this week, this month. I am thankful for a God who is present in the details yet has a plan bigger than I could even comprehend.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
What's next?
As most of you know, I will be graduating from Johnson Bible College on May 6th. The question of what comes next has been on my mind for almost a year now, becoming increasingly important. It is a question that many of you have been asking. So for all of you who have been asking, I finally have an answer.
I will be staying in Tennessee and continuing to work with Abundant Life Christian Church. Abundant Life is a church plant in Sevierville, TN. I have been serving as a volunteer there for just over three years in the children's and/or youth ministries since our very first Sunday.
I am very excited about this opportunity which God has presented me with. I ask that you please pray for Abundant Life and the plan which God has for us there. Some things you can pray for me is that God would provide affordable housing, that I will remain diligent as I finish my school work, and that I may best use the resources given to me to further God's Kingdom.
If you are interested in hearing more about this next step in my life or you are interested in helping to support me financially or as a prayer partner, email me at beautyinthestorm@ymail.com
I will be staying in Tennessee and continuing to work with Abundant Life Christian Church. Abundant Life is a church plant in Sevierville, TN. I have been serving as a volunteer there for just over three years in the children's and/or youth ministries since our very first Sunday.
I am very excited about this opportunity which God has presented me with. I ask that you please pray for Abundant Life and the plan which God has for us there. Some things you can pray for me is that God would provide affordable housing, that I will remain diligent as I finish my school work, and that I may best use the resources given to me to further God's Kingdom.
If you are interested in hearing more about this next step in my life or you are interested in helping to support me financially or as a prayer partner, email me at beautyinthestorm@ymail.com
Monday, February 14, 2011
Dear Valentines Day
A friend of mine just posted a link to a blog on facebook. After reading it I couldn't help but share it. There was so much truth and emotion and authenticity. I think somewhere along the line we can all relate to this. So here it is:
Dear Valentines Day (by Jamie Tworkowski)
My friend Don wrote a blog about you today and his blog suggests that you used to look a lot different than you do today. He says that you are the product of a poet and that before this poet's pen, you were not a romantic holiday.
i think i would have liked you more back then, whenever that was. The truth is that you really bother me now. i think you bother a lot of people, honestly. i'm not sure how you got so much power. You show up every year right after Christmas. You turn the windows pink and you sell your diamonds on the radio and i think i've gotten five emails from 1-800-FLOWERS in the last three days.
Don't get me wrong. It's not that i don't like love. i love love - i think it's the best thing that happens on the planet. It's the biggest dream inside me. But i bought a lie somewhere along the way. i bought the lie that says i'm not alive if i'm not in love. i bought the lie that says if i love someone but then they stop loving me or they start loving someone else, then i must have no value or power or worth. i bought the lie that says if i'm not in love, then i'm as good as dead.
And if you believe that lie long enough, it makes a giant hole. It makes a hole so big that no one person could ever begin to fill it. Not even a princess. Believe me, i've tried. To fill it with a person, to fill it with beauty, to fill it with all the things you sell.
But i don't think it works that way. Bono says his songs come from a God-shaped hole inside of him. He's my favorite singer and he has a lot of things. He has great stories and a wife and kids and plenty of money. But in spite of all of those things, he still has this God-shaped hole and he says that it's the reason that he sings.
i've been thinking lately that maybe i've confused a girl for God, a different one every year or two, since the first day of junior high. And man, that is a lot of pressure to put on someone, to make them God. That is a ton of power to hand to someone. Especially when they're just a person. A person with questions and flaws and pain of their own.
So maybe there's a war, inside of me and for me and maybe my heart is the opposite of small. Maybe it's the opposite of cheap and empty and alone. Maybe it's sacred and enormous and wild.
To make a long story short, i think i've given you way too much power. i let you scare me and i let you name me and i let you tell me what i'm worth.
i don't want to do that anymore.
There are dreams inside of me and those are mine and my guess is that they're there for a reason. But for all the days like now where the dreams are asked to be only dreams, i'm gonna keep getting out of bed. i'm gonna keep living my story. i'm gonna believe that there is reason and purpose, and power in my life. i'm gonna believe that i'm alive inside a story bigger than my pain, bigger than everything missing.
It crossed my mind to try to ignore you, to try to go to bed early and wake up when you're gone. But i changed my mind. i am part of a gang in Florida and we're gonna get together tonight. We're going to open our computers and we're going to choose to believe that words are powerful. We're gonna do our best to tell someone something true. We're gonna ask people not to give up on their stories.
Valentine's Day, i don't hate you. i don't even blame you. Perhaps you did not name yourself. Perhaps you are the product of hundreds of years, hundreds of thousands of broken people and a million God-shaped holes.
The truth is that we're all living love stories.
Peace to you tonight.
jamie
PS: i wrote this while listening to The Script's Science & Faith.
Dear Valentines Day (by Jamie Tworkowski)
My friend Don wrote a blog about you today and his blog suggests that you used to look a lot different than you do today. He says that you are the product of a poet and that before this poet's pen, you were not a romantic holiday.
i think i would have liked you more back then, whenever that was. The truth is that you really bother me now. i think you bother a lot of people, honestly. i'm not sure how you got so much power. You show up every year right after Christmas. You turn the windows pink and you sell your diamonds on the radio and i think i've gotten five emails from 1-800-FLOWERS in the last three days.
Don't get me wrong. It's not that i don't like love. i love love - i think it's the best thing that happens on the planet. It's the biggest dream inside me. But i bought a lie somewhere along the way. i bought the lie that says i'm not alive if i'm not in love. i bought the lie that says if i love someone but then they stop loving me or they start loving someone else, then i must have no value or power or worth. i bought the lie that says if i'm not in love, then i'm as good as dead.
And if you believe that lie long enough, it makes a giant hole. It makes a hole so big that no one person could ever begin to fill it. Not even a princess. Believe me, i've tried. To fill it with a person, to fill it with beauty, to fill it with all the things you sell.
But i don't think it works that way. Bono says his songs come from a God-shaped hole inside of him. He's my favorite singer and he has a lot of things. He has great stories and a wife and kids and plenty of money. But in spite of all of those things, he still has this God-shaped hole and he says that it's the reason that he sings.
i've been thinking lately that maybe i've confused a girl for God, a different one every year or two, since the first day of junior high. And man, that is a lot of pressure to put on someone, to make them God. That is a ton of power to hand to someone. Especially when they're just a person. A person with questions and flaws and pain of their own.
So maybe there's a war, inside of me and for me and maybe my heart is the opposite of small. Maybe it's the opposite of cheap and empty and alone. Maybe it's sacred and enormous and wild.
To make a long story short, i think i've given you way too much power. i let you scare me and i let you name me and i let you tell me what i'm worth.
i don't want to do that anymore.
There are dreams inside of me and those are mine and my guess is that they're there for a reason. But for all the days like now where the dreams are asked to be only dreams, i'm gonna keep getting out of bed. i'm gonna keep living my story. i'm gonna believe that there is reason and purpose, and power in my life. i'm gonna believe that i'm alive inside a story bigger than my pain, bigger than everything missing.
It crossed my mind to try to ignore you, to try to go to bed early and wake up when you're gone. But i changed my mind. i am part of a gang in Florida and we're gonna get together tonight. We're going to open our computers and we're going to choose to believe that words are powerful. We're gonna do our best to tell someone something true. We're gonna ask people not to give up on their stories.
Valentine's Day, i don't hate you. i don't even blame you. Perhaps you did not name yourself. Perhaps you are the product of hundreds of years, hundreds of thousands of broken people and a million God-shaped holes.
The truth is that we're all living love stories.
Peace to you tonight.
jamie
PS: i wrote this while listening to The Script's Science & Faith.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Next
Today, December 8th I sit in my office as I have so many other days in the past 2 months. This day isn't overly different from any of those day, except for one thing. My time in this office will end in 4 days.
It is so hard to believe that 6 months has gone by so fast. And yet it feels as though it has last a lifetime as well. I am not the same person I was when I walked through this door the first time and for that I am extremely thankful. I have learned a lot and grown a lot. Not all of that has been easy, but it has all been part of a bigger plan.
Right now, my flesh is screaming that it wants to know what the next step in that bigger plan is. Yes I am returning to Johnson in a month. I will finish my final spring semester and I will graduate in May.
But then what? Its a question I have been asked numerous times over the past month. It is also a question that I don't have an answer to. As I said, my flesh is screaming for an answer, yet deep down in that quiet, still place in my soul I am being reminded that I don't need to know the next step. After all, its not really my plan anyway. I just get to play a part. And today, for that I am so thankful.
It is so hard to believe that 6 months has gone by so fast. And yet it feels as though it has last a lifetime as well. I am not the same person I was when I walked through this door the first time and for that I am extremely thankful. I have learned a lot and grown a lot. Not all of that has been easy, but it has all been part of a bigger plan.
Right now, my flesh is screaming that it wants to know what the next step in that bigger plan is. Yes I am returning to Johnson in a month. I will finish my final spring semester and I will graduate in May.
But then what? Its a question I have been asked numerous times over the past month. It is also a question that I don't have an answer to. As I said, my flesh is screaming for an answer, yet deep down in that quiet, still place in my soul I am being reminded that I don't need to know the next step. After all, its not really my plan anyway. I just get to play a part. And today, for that I am so thankful.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Blind Chainsaw Juggler
Something for your heart: 'What do you want me to do for you?' Jesus asked him. The blind man said, 'Rabbi, I want to see.' (Mark 10:51)
"What do you want me to do for you?"
"I want you to send someone to teach me to juggle chainsaws."
"Why?"
"Because people would pay a lot of money to see a blind guy juggle chainsaws. After I earned enough from my act, I could pay for a trip to go see this doctor I heard about who specializes in my condition. He does this progressive treatment, and I might get my vision in a few years."
When he got his chance, Bartimaeus didn't ask Jesus to help him with the first step in a complicated plan to get what he wanted. He simply asked for what He wanted and let Jesus worry about the plan. Simple prayers are evidence of big faith in God. Complicated prayers can be evidence of faith in my ability to make good plans.
-Youth Specialties
Too often I want to pray complicated prayers. Too often I want to trust my own plans over the plans of God. I sit and I rationalize this over and over. However, as I sit at my desk today I realize just how dumb this is. I want to trust my plans? Mine over the creator of the universe? Over the one who holds the world in my hands? How can I possibly be arrogant enough to think that my plans could possibly ever be better than the plans that he has for me? My God is so big, and I am so small. He has taken care of me thus far. And He will continue to do so.
"I do believe; help my unbelief" ~Mark 9:24
"What do you want me to do for you?"
"I want you to send someone to teach me to juggle chainsaws."
"Why?"
"Because people would pay a lot of money to see a blind guy juggle chainsaws. After I earned enough from my act, I could pay for a trip to go see this doctor I heard about who specializes in my condition. He does this progressive treatment, and I might get my vision in a few years."
When he got his chance, Bartimaeus didn't ask Jesus to help him with the first step in a complicated plan to get what he wanted. He simply asked for what He wanted and let Jesus worry about the plan. Simple prayers are evidence of big faith in God. Complicated prayers can be evidence of faith in my ability to make good plans.
-Youth Specialties
Too often I want to pray complicated prayers. Too often I want to trust my own plans over the plans of God. I sit and I rationalize this over and over. However, as I sit at my desk today I realize just how dumb this is. I want to trust my plans? Mine over the creator of the universe? Over the one who holds the world in my hands? How can I possibly be arrogant enough to think that my plans could possibly ever be better than the plans that he has for me? My God is so big, and I am so small. He has taken care of me thus far. And He will continue to do so.
"I do believe; help my unbelief" ~Mark 9:24
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