Today, December 8th I sit in my office as I have so many other days in the past 2 months. This day isn't overly different from any of those day, except for one thing. My time in this office will end in 4 days.
It is so hard to believe that 6 months has gone by so fast. And yet it feels as though it has last a lifetime as well. I am not the same person I was when I walked through this door the first time and for that I am extremely thankful. I have learned a lot and grown a lot. Not all of that has been easy, but it has all been part of a bigger plan.
Right now, my flesh is screaming that it wants to know what the next step in that bigger plan is. Yes I am returning to Johnson in a month. I will finish my final spring semester and I will graduate in May.
But then what? Its a question I have been asked numerous times over the past month. It is also a question that I don't have an answer to. As I said, my flesh is screaming for an answer, yet deep down in that quiet, still place in my soul I am being reminded that I don't need to know the next step. After all, its not really my plan anyway. I just get to play a part. And today, for that I am so thankful.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Blind Chainsaw Juggler
Something for your heart: 'What do you want me to do for you?' Jesus asked him. The blind man said, 'Rabbi, I want to see.' (Mark 10:51)
"What do you want me to do for you?"
"I want you to send someone to teach me to juggle chainsaws."
"Why?"
"Because people would pay a lot of money to see a blind guy juggle chainsaws. After I earned enough from my act, I could pay for a trip to go see this doctor I heard about who specializes in my condition. He does this progressive treatment, and I might get my vision in a few years."
When he got his chance, Bartimaeus didn't ask Jesus to help him with the first step in a complicated plan to get what he wanted. He simply asked for what He wanted and let Jesus worry about the plan. Simple prayers are evidence of big faith in God. Complicated prayers can be evidence of faith in my ability to make good plans.
-Youth Specialties
Too often I want to pray complicated prayers. Too often I want to trust my own plans over the plans of God. I sit and I rationalize this over and over. However, as I sit at my desk today I realize just how dumb this is. I want to trust my plans? Mine over the creator of the universe? Over the one who holds the world in my hands? How can I possibly be arrogant enough to think that my plans could possibly ever be better than the plans that he has for me? My God is so big, and I am so small. He has taken care of me thus far. And He will continue to do so.
"I do believe; help my unbelief" ~Mark 9:24
"What do you want me to do for you?"
"I want you to send someone to teach me to juggle chainsaws."
"Why?"
"Because people would pay a lot of money to see a blind guy juggle chainsaws. After I earned enough from my act, I could pay for a trip to go see this doctor I heard about who specializes in my condition. He does this progressive treatment, and I might get my vision in a few years."
When he got his chance, Bartimaeus didn't ask Jesus to help him with the first step in a complicated plan to get what he wanted. He simply asked for what He wanted and let Jesus worry about the plan. Simple prayers are evidence of big faith in God. Complicated prayers can be evidence of faith in my ability to make good plans.
-Youth Specialties
Too often I want to pray complicated prayers. Too often I want to trust my own plans over the plans of God. I sit and I rationalize this over and over. However, as I sit at my desk today I realize just how dumb this is. I want to trust my plans? Mine over the creator of the universe? Over the one who holds the world in my hands? How can I possibly be arrogant enough to think that my plans could possibly ever be better than the plans that he has for me? My God is so big, and I am so small. He has taken care of me thus far. And He will continue to do so.
"I do believe; help my unbelief" ~Mark 9:24
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