Next

Today, December 8th I sit in my office as I have so many other days in the past 2 months. This day isn't overly different from any of those day, except for one thing. My time in this office will end in 4 days.
It is so hard to believe that 6 months has gone by so fast. And yet it feels as though it has last a lifetime as well. I am not the same person I was when I walked through this door the first time and for that I am extremely thankful. I have learned a lot and grown a lot. Not all of that has been easy, but it has all been part of a bigger plan.
Right now, my flesh is screaming that it wants to know what the next step in that bigger plan is. Yes I am returning to Johnson in a month. I will finish my final spring semester and I will graduate in May.
But then what? Its a question I have been asked numerous times over the past month. It is also a question that I don't have an answer to. As I said, my flesh is screaming for an answer, yet deep down in that quiet, still place in my soul I am being reminded that I don't need to know the next step. After all, its not really my plan anyway. I just get to play a part. And today, for that I am so thankful.

Blind Chainsaw Juggler

Something for your heart: 'What do you want me to do for you?' Jesus asked him. The blind man said, 'Rabbi, I want to see.' (Mark 10:51)
"What do you want me to do for you?"

"I want you to send someone to teach me to juggle chainsaws."

"Why?"

"Because people would pay a lot of money to see a blind guy juggle chainsaws. After I earned enough from my act, I could pay for a trip to go see this doctor I heard about who specializes in my condition. He does this progressive treatment, and I might get my vision in a few years."

When he got his chance, Bartimaeus didn't ask Jesus to help him with the first step in a complicated plan to get what he wanted. He simply asked for what He wanted and let Jesus worry about the plan. Simple prayers are evidence of big faith in God. Complicated prayers can be evidence of faith in my ability to make good plans.
-Youth Specialties

Too often I want to pray complicated prayers. Too often I want to trust my own plans over the plans of God. I sit and I rationalize this over and over. However, as I sit at my desk today I realize just how dumb this is. I want to trust my plans? Mine over the creator of the universe? Over the one who holds the world in my hands? How can I possibly be arrogant enough to think that my plans could possibly ever be better than the plans that he has for me? My God is so big, and I am so small. He has taken care of me thus far. And He will continue to do so.
"I do believe; help my unbelief" ~Mark 9:24

Arise, Shine

Arise,
Shine,
For your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord
rises upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the oeples,
but the Lord rises upon you,
and His glory appears over you.
Nations will come to your light
and kings
to the brightness of your dawn.
Lift up your eyes
and look about you;
your sons from afar
and your daughters
are carried on the arm.
Then you will look radiant.
your heart will throb and swell with joy;
The wealth on the seas
will be brought to you,
and the riches of the nations
will come.
~Isaiah 60:1-5

Journey

Ok number one, every time I get on here I realize that I do not write often enough. I get these great ideas about things to write, but I don't get to this page nearly enough.
Number two, I registered for classes this week. Now, this is not the first time I have done so. In fact I have registered for classes six other times over the past four years. This time is the last time I will register for classes (at least for now). This means I graduate in May!
Yes that is an exclamation point. I am excited. But I am also absolutely terrified. For those of you who know me, you know that I am a planner and I like to be in control. Yet as May gets closer and closer, the next step still is not planned. Control is slipping out of my hands a little more each day. And that scares me.
Yet God has surrounded me with some of the most amazing people. These people are reminding me day after day that I need not worry. You see I serve this really big God. He is way bigger than I could even imagine. He understands more than I ever possibly could. And He is directing my steps.
So, no I don't know where I am going to be or what I will be doing after I graduate. But I do know I serve a big God. And He will guide me and be with me all along the journey.

Damaged

As I spent some time online today, I found myself on a friend's facebook page. His religious view read: The church has damaged many in the name of God.
How true this statement is. It is not necessarily intentional but over and over the church has hurt, ridiculed, shunned, or attacked others. We claim to do everything in the name of God but as humans we continually fall short of His perfection, love, mercy, and grace. We could never be God because His ways are so far beyond ours that we can not even mimic Him well. Yet He continues to allow us to carry His name. We go out into a lost, hurting, and dying world. We carry the name of love and truth and grace. We carry the name of a savior. Sometimes we are not reflections of that love, truth, and grace.
So I guess my question is, if we agree that "the church has damaged many in the name of God," how do we become part of the solution rather than part of the problem?

Faith Like A Child

I absolutely love our daycare kids. For those of you who don’t know, the church where I am interning has a daycare that meets in our building five days a week. Because of this, we are constantly interacting with the kids in one way or another. Some days are better than others (you would believe how much the sound of a child crying can carry through a church building). However, I would not trade having them here. They constantly brighten my day. Last week, as my day was finishing up I began to hear a child singing. My office shares a wall with the men’s restroom. One of the little boys was in the restroom singing the national anthem. It was adorable.
Just a few moments ago, I walked out to the refrigerator to grab my lunch. As I did so, one of the daycare teachers said, “Let’s pray,” in preparation for their lunch. Instantly, about twenty little heads were bowed and hands were folded. It reminded me that we are called to have faith like a child. It is a beautiful thing.

Ten (Parodoxical) Commands

1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.
2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.
3. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
5. Honest and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
6. The biggest mean and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.
7. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
9. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway.
10. Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.
~Kent Keith

Your Story...

Last Saturday I found myself sitting in another church sanctuary. I realize that this isn't a big shock for those of you who know me well. It is not uncommon for me to be sitting in a church any day of the week. However, this day was different. I slipped into the very last pew. Greeted very few. Found myself hiding close to the sound board. I was not in this place for the typical church service. I was here to pay my respects to local 16 year old Sawyer Peterman and his family.
As I sat in this room, filled with people ranging in age from young children to grandparents who were all hurting, I realized very quickly that if Jesus were walking the streets today this is probably the type of place you'd be most likely to find him. He would not be among those following all the rules. I don't think he would be in a church office. He would be found among the broken and hurting. He would be holding the hand of Sawyer's mother. Or playing ball with his little brother. This is the kind of Savior who amazes me over and over.

Growth

"Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell. Cancer has no purpose but growth; but it does have another result – the death of the host.” Edward Abby
This is a quote I read today that I believe we must continually be mindful of in the church. Growth for the sake of growth will do nothing but suck the life out of us. We must seek God and seek relationship with Him. If growth is a result of this, awesome! If not, maybe God has another plan.

Blessings

Lately, I have started attending our college age Bible study The Fold at Bloomsburg Christian Church. In order to get a full understanding of this, you must understand that the church is located about 10 minutes from Bloomsburg University. To most, the school is known for its great teacher education and ASL programs and the crazy parties that are held each year.
Lately, I've gotten to see another side of BU. Every Thursday night 20-30 current students and alumni gather at BCC for worship and Bible study. Everyone grabs a Bible and we open to a passage. We share and discuss. There is no "teacher," no set curriculum. We simply allow God to guide our discussions and we learn from one another.
During our prayer time at the end of study on Thursday, I realized that I have no idea what these students go through. Sure I went to a public high school, but I was still highly supported by other Christian. For the past three years I have been living inside the Johnson bubble. As much as I hate that label, it is true. I have no idea what it is like to be a Christian student at a state university.
These students amaze me at the strength of their faith and their dependence upon God. They are continually seeking Him and sharing Him through their words and their actions. This weekend was a great example of that. BloomU CRU (Campus Crusade for Christ) set up a tent on one of the lawns on campus and had a period of 24 hour prayer. Here is just one photograph of the prayer tent.
We continually talk about being salt and light. However, it has very little impact to be a light in an area full of light. How much brighter does the light shine in a dark place? So to CRU and Christian students on campuses everywhere, let your light shine. God is working in you and through you in mighty ways.

life happens

So many times I am out doing something or I am sitting at my desk reading something and I find myself thinking, I should blog about that. And then life happens. Life gets in the way of me sharing life with you because I'm sharing life with the people who are right here with me. So while once again, I will say that I want to write more, please understand that if I do not write more, it is because I am out there living life.

Broken Hearted

When I made the commitment to go into youth ministry, I’m not sure that I realized what I was getting myself into. I say commitment because it was so much more than a career choice for me. I very strongly felt God’s leading in this area of my life. I simply had the commitment to follow His leading.
Don’t get me wrong, I do not regret this decision at all. As I am approaching the half way point of my second internship, I am reminded time after time that this is exactly where I am supposed to be. However, as various students from all areas and all walks of life come to me express the issues they are dealing with in their lives, I wonder if I fully understood any of this before. I’m not even sure that I understand things fully now.
Over and over my heart breaks for the youth of this generation. They are continually dealing with tough issues. These are not the tough issues of your parents’ generation. Teenagers today are dealing with issues such as alcoholism, physical abuse, sexual abuse, pornography, acceptance (or lack thereof), drug abuse, anger issues, and so much more.
So now I come to you. Pray for our teens. Reach out to them. Show them with your words and the way that you live your life that there is so much more to be living for. They are not only the church of tomorrow but also the church of today. If you don’t reach them, who will.

Goals

August 5, 2010
So much has happened since I wrote last. Some things I’m really excited about. Some of these things I can not wait to share with all of you. It has been amazing how God has worked throughout the past few week. There are also things that have been tough. There are things there are confidential. And there are countless things that I have learned. Through it all I have been constantly reminded that God is here. He has made Himself known and evident.
In three weeks of camp, I feel as though I’ve learned more about youth ministry than I could have possibly learned in years sitting in a classroom. I’ve worked with adult staff in good times and bad times. I have spent time with students. We have laughed together and cried together. We have prayed with one another and for one another. We have come together in worship as a unified body. It has been absolutely amazing to see the ways God made himself known in so many of these situations.
During Middle School Week we set three goals for the week. It has become evident to me that if I want to continue to deepen my relationship with God these are goals I need to have for my life.
1. Pray like you’ve never prayed before.
2. Praise like you’ve never praised before.
3. Love each other. Encourage each other. Build one another up. And stand in unity.
I hope you may also take these goals to heart. They are already making a huge difference in my life and I know that if you commit to them, they will make a difference in your life as well.

Promised Land

I don't have internet at camp so some of my post over the next month will be dated when they were written rather than when they were posted.

July 18, 2010
I had been looking forward to July 19th for over a month now. My parents are on vacation with my sister aka they are at the campground. This is the same campground where I spent many summers while I was growing up. Now, notice I said my parents and sister were there. There was no way I could take almost two weeks off work, plus its camp season. I can’t imagine not being at Camp Epachiseca! But nonetheless, I was looking forward to this day that was quickly approaching.
You see, during the many summers spent at Nittany Mountain, I had made some friends. One of my closest friends there was Richard Springman. Richard and I were a mere 2 weeks apart in age, and we both had summer birthdays. We spent a lot of time together and had celebrated many birthdays together, including the “milestones” such as 13, 16, and 18. This year we would both be 21 and I was looking forward to celebrating together.
Tomorrow, Richard will be celebrating. Of that fact, I am sure; however I will not be there. You see, Richard passed away on Wednesday. He was responding to an accident when he lost control of his truck. So tomorrow, as we gather to remember Richard and the amazing life that he led, I take comfort in the fact that he will not be celebrating a birthday. Rather, Richard will be celebrating with Jesus.

When they lay me underneath a heavy stone
and the cold grave grips my bones
Don’t cry for me for in Glory I will be
dancin’ around the throne
~Fee

Okay...so I haven't written as often as I would have liked so far. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. If you are following me on here, you probably think its a bad thing. However, the fact that I'm not writing means that I'm busy and in my mind that is good thing.
One Night with the King went wonderfully. For those of you who do not know what I'm talking about, this is the second year that we held an event for 10-21 year old girls.
The event focuses on the fact that women no matter their age, color, shape, or size are beautiful. They are princesses, daughters of the King of Kings. We spend an evening sharing His truth about their beauty and purpose with them as they share in a formal meal and are treated as the true princesses that they are.
This year I had the privilege of teaming up with Shannon Montanye and Matt Ayres for this event. Kyle Kishbaugh and his fiance, Ashley Williams prepared a professional meal for us which was then served by Matt Ayres, Matt Sereno, and Jason Broadt who also served as ushers for the evening. It was amazing to be a part of this wonderful team. Each one played a special role, and the night could not have been a success without them.
Sunday night we had our Spring Area Wide Service at Camp Epachiseca. This is always a great time, but its made even more fun when old friends are there. It was great to get to see Scuba Steve & Nick Laylon. You know you are in for a good time when the whole Tribal Council is together. The evening made me even more excited for the 2010 camp season to get under way. However, we are praying that we recieve more registrations before the individual weeks of camp begin. We know that a lot of time, thought, and prayer are put into each week of camp. We would like to see them reach as many as possible. However, we also trust that God will reach and impact those who He has chosen to through camp. If you or some one you know is interested in going to or sending a child to camp, please check out www.campepachiseca.com or contact me as soon as possible for more information.
Well, I guess that is all for now. I need to finish some clean up and start packing for work camp. Hopefully I will be able to post one more time before we leave on Sunday morning. Please be in prayer for our team as well as all those who will be there. I will share more about it when we return.

The small things

This past week was a little bit crazy. My days consisted mostly of working on stuff for Middle Week at Camp Epachiseca (which is almost here!), planning a few upcoming events, and doing some school work. My evenings were consumed by 6 kids between age 5 & 13 aka it was VBS week!
It was a busy week full of reminders of God's simple truths. Every year I seem to learn more from the children then I could ever attempt to teach them. It is amazing how God works.
My weekend didn't slow down much. I worked an 8 hour shift both Friday and Saturday night at DRs. By Sunday afternoon I was exhausted so a nap was on the agenda. But it was Sunday evening when God truly blessed me. I got to enjoy a family dinner on the deck with my parents. Then I got to spend some time with my second family, the Gerhardts. Hanging out and reading with Emilie was awesome. I love every moment I get to spend with Em & Chloe as well as the rest of the family. It is in these moments that I see God most clearly.

Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. ~John W Whitehead

Beautiful

This was the beautiful view out the office window this morning. Look at the beauty of God's creation.

Accident

So...I'm finally writing a post that I probably should have written a week ago, but my life has been a little bit crazy. For those of you who do not know yet, I was in a car accident on Friday June 4th. I was hit passenger side & my car spun into another car on the drivers side and then into the guardrail. Most people who have asked me about it, I think expect me to say how scared I was or something like that. But honestly, it all happened so quickly that I didn't have time to be scared. I didn't even see the truck coming before it hit me. Thankfully I was wearing a seat belt (as always), which kept me from being hurt much worse. I do have some nasty bruises from the seat belt and the cartilage that attaches my ribs to my sternum is bruised as well. That could take up to six weeks to heal. It was as though I was protected throughout the entire accident. I praise God for the ways that He works even when we don't understand.
My car on the other hand, did not fair so well. The passenger side of the vehicle took most of the damage as the place of initial impact. However, my driver's side rear door had some damage as well as the back window and bumper. Both the airbags went off and the passenger side of my windshield broke.
My grandparents on both sides have been very helpful in helping me to find a new car and figure all of that kind of stuff out. So my dad will be flying to Florida next week to bring my new vehicle home. Until then, I guess I'm still without a car, but I'm thankful for the many ways that God has blessed me through this process.

Ready...

Today is my third day in the office at BCC. This week has held a lot of introductions, schedule planning, and meetings. And inevitably, as I have begun this step in my life, I have been asked over and over about the next step. As graduation nears, I am continually asked what I plan to do after I am done with school
To be completely honest, this question scares me. When I graduated from high school, I had a plan. I knew I had been called into ministry. I knew that I wanted to attend Johnson Bible College. I knew what (at the very least) the next four years had in store for me. Now, don't get me wrong, I am still convinced of my calling. However, over the course of the three years that I have been at Johnson, I have also come to realize the many things that "ministry" encompasses. I would like to work with teens and I would like to be within a few hours of my parents. I think these desires are part of my inner wirings. Family is so important to me and I can't imagine continuing to live 10 hours away from them.
Yet, beyond these things, I am unsure of where God is calling me. This morning I sat reading some articles about the search and candidating process in ministry. The simple yet honest words of Steve Harling in Memoirs of a Move were reassuring. I was reminded that these decisions about ministry and direction are not ones that I am asked to make alone. God will guide me and be with me every step of the way.

"God, I'm ready now. Ready to get out of the boat of my comfort and security."

Small Things

I've been home for almost two weeks now. Its crazy to think that. In some ways, it seems as though it has been so much longer than that. In other ways, I already feel as though the time is flying by. Either way, in those two weeks, I have been reminded that life has its meaning in the small things.

Small things like:
Watching one of my best friend's face light up as she tries on wedding dresses.
Having time to read what I want, because I want to.
Putting up a dear friend's artwork on the walls of my room.
Seeing my sister begin to grin as she finishes cutting my hair, and knowing she did an amazing job (again).
Spending hours at the camp doing whatever needs to be done, because I love every moment there.
Reconnecting with an old friend.
Family shopping day...(I never thought I'd enjoy that)
Youth ministry meetings over wings.
Being reminded that God will provide.
Sitting on my bed with my puppy at 12:30 am, realizing all I have to be thankful for.

You see, while I've been here for a mere two weeks, God is already doing tremendous things. For that I can not give him enough praise and glory. I am so thankful for the amazing people in my life. Whether I am close to them or far away, they remind me every day of the small things. It is these small things that make life worth living. They are the things that bring a simple smile. The small things eventually add up to the big things. And that is what makes everything go on. As I prepare to start my internship next week, I hope to keep seeing the small things. And I hope each day, you're able to see the small things too.

The beginning

As many of you know, I have just finished my junior year at Johnson and will soon be starting a six-month internship with Bloomsburg Christian Church. Many of you have asked me to keep you updated. So this will allow me to do that a little more easily.
I moved home on Wednesday and do not actually start at Bloom until June 1st. This sounds like two weeks of rest and relaxation, but so far that has not quite been the case. Yesterday, we spent hours reassembling my bookshelves (which still aren't quite straight) and they don't yet have books on them. There are also still plenty of boxes filling our foyer. Fortunately, those boxes will wait. I have gotten to spend time with family and I'm beginning to adjust back to life in my parent's house.
It has become a different place now. Mom and Dad are treating me as an adult and Jillian is feeling better lately. Matt Ayres has also recently joined the household and will be interning locally. I'm sure that it will be a fun, crazy summer.